Mysteries. They capture our collective imaginations, tickle our curiosities, and open wide the doors to the gardens of the esoteric. So it is indeed no mystery that we are drawn to the inexplicable, the furtive, the transcendental. The human animal has forever been more intrigued by what they don’t know then what they do know. It’s why we have so many fears (pols love that). It simply bothers us to be kept in the dark. It eats at us.
So we gravitate towards Christie, Poe, Doyle, Chandler or Connelly to get our fix for the arcane. Turning the pages in such rapid succession that the binding begins to smolder. With fantasies racing we read on with mouth’s agape, opening just short of dislocation as the web untangles and we inch ever closer to our burning query: Who dunnit?
Who dunnit? Or in my/our case… who wrote it? That seems to be on the minds of just a few folks these days as they from day one have read tea leaves, followed the bread crumbs, connected the dots, and thrown pasta against the cabinet, looking for the cryptic clues (maybe there are some… maybe not) as to the nature of this/these veiled men/man/woman/women who now reside(s) on Blogger’s Row.
Are they upstate? Are they Downstate? Some have speculated with high certainty that Sussex holds the key; others hold firm that by God, it must be Wilmington. Dover gets some nods of conjecture. They Look for me/us in Rehoboth, scouring Arena’s or Cultured Pearl, or Dogfishhead Head (Hey Sam!) to see if there are any really good writers (yes self aggrandizing… and why not… I/we am/are (A) good writer/writers) hanging out at the bar. One told us we drink Scotch (I/we) do) others swear they’ve seen my/our shadow/shadows in every pub and coffee shop in the state. And even one who was kind enough to ask me/us to Toscana (Hey Dan)… whoops, I/we do know where that is… now how ‘bout that ; ) …was just funnin’.
But it doesn’t begin to stop there. Nooooo, not even. There in addition exists speculation as to the nature of my/our political ideology and leanings. I/we have been cited for hiding in the pocket of almost everyone in the race. You name it, we’ve heard it. The King swears I/we am/are for Carney, Carney supporters insist I/we wear lil elephants on my/our lapel (s). There is also talk that I/we are all about Wedo… and he’s not even gonna be a friggin’ candidate!!! Of course it all makes me/us feel like we stand objective amongst the forces of the subjective and deeply partisan, which is pretty cool. If one bothers to read the “about us” feature on the site… it was spelled out clearly. But that never stops the wheels from turnin’ now does it? Who doesn’t just loooove a good rumor.
So who am/are I/we? With whom do I/we side and associate? Good questions all, but why do they incite such an inquisition? Well, we will tell you all this much: I’m/we’re not tellin’. TTTTTHHHHPPPP.
But I/we will intimate that you have seen me/us at the conventions, Shooting some skeet w Mr. Cullis, maybe (he do like them shotguns), Having fun with Mike and Jane, Sharin’ a bass with the Govs and their lieutenants at the Golden Fleece, imbibing Booker’s (neat) at the U whist club, playin Golf with John… (ya know, Carney… our perceived best bud) playin’ golf with Jane (before and after she became the Queen)… playin’ golf at Baywood and DuPont and The South Course at Wilmington (although I/we prefer the north) and charity events at the sparkling new “Rock” or celebrating a birdie on the 9th at Porky’s… we are there.
I/we am/are at the committee meetings, back rooms and privy to the skinny. Whether it is Harry’s, or Buckley’s or the Summer House or meeting comfortably over the comfort food at the Harvest Diner (Georgetown… very good)… I/we are there. I/we am/are Alfred, and I/we know Mr. Wayne’s favourite varietals.
The fly on the wall, the whisper in the wind, the eye of the storm. That is me/us. Do ya think Jim Morrison actually had that title in mind, bro? I/we like that tag… Writer’s/Writer on the Storm.
A final note: I/we loved reading Richard Bachman, not knowing (at the time) or caring that it was Stephen King. Atlas Shrugged for Ayn Rand but it was really Alisa Zinov’yevna Rosenbaum who penned the work. Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn didn’t waste a thought that their creator, Mark Twain was a cool dude named Samuel Langhorne Clemens, and lordy, would any of us taken advice from Dear Pauline and Jean (Phillips)?… oh, Dear Abby to you and I. In the end does it matter? It’s still Dear Abby.
So, Lieutenant Girard, keep on searching for Dr. Richard Kimble. But here’s a hint… it really was the one armed man… lol.
February 18th, 2010 at 9:32 pm
I don’t know that I have ever read anything crazier that the above, you guy(s)/girl(s) must be on speed!
February 18th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
JP-5, bro
February 18th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Can always count on you dudes for a tickle. Seriously though, who the F are you? Nobody cares, just tell us (nobody cares). Beotch.
February 18th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
This is classic! You remind me of Hugh Gallagher, check out his ACTUAL essay he wrote to get into NYU:
http://www.radford.edu/~ibarland/Public/Humor/essay
Speaking of, can you write my son’s college admissions essay??
February 18th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
You guys are Wilmington, the cumulative amount of hints that you’ve dropped are enough for me to know some old souls from the good old days when wilmington was hip. I also know you’re white and you drink a lot. I also drink, makes other people interesting, sometimes animals too.
February 18th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
First off; never count on counting clues.
Second; When was Wilmington ever hip?…Outside of the Crepe Chalet and the One 400’s…that is…lol
February 18th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
And to Boonies: Von Von Von
High praise. Thank you.
We’ll get him in. It ain’t cheap…but we’ll get him in.
Where the Hell’s he applying, anyway?
Cha Cha Cha
February 19th, 2010 at 7:50 am
I think it is pretty obvious.
February 19th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Is it, now.
February 19th, 2010 at 10:46 am
I had 3 schools on my A-list and wrote a different essay for each one (in case they cross referenced) Even my out school got one.
Didn’t need it, though.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Admin –
Surely, your best post thus far! A tasty treat of mystery and other sundry irreverence is mighty good. I’m just jealous that ya’ll have some much damn insider information!
February 19th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Thank you, bro. Was wonderin’ where ya were.
You inspired it… and we’ve gotten emails from a number of the 35 states that now read us asking to write college admission essays like the one mentioned above or other forms of satire and general absurdity. Pretty funny and very cool.
BTW, We have to have inside info…who the hell hangs outside in this shit?
Don’t be a stranger.
February 19th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I love the supple “(s)” at the end of the post Headline.
February 19th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Hmmm…seems I missed a little hint from your ‘Lone Ranger(s)’ post. Golf. Only a truly ‘good’ golfer would cite Baywood, Dupont and, of course, the new ‘Rock.’ Not to mention the supplety of the North v. South course at WCC.
Being a low, er…at least used to be, single-digit Tom Watson wannabe, I see a potential connection to a certain Senior Tour (Champions Tour to the unenlightened)golfer as a writer here. You know, the David who slayed Goliath on the other side of the ‘Pond’ a feew years back.
February 19th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Ah, the Royal Portrush Golf Club. The Dunluce Links and Valley Links are not to be missed should one travel over to smack around the lil Titleist. My Favs though are Portmarnock (the 15th might just be the best par 3 in the world), and Turnberry, where Tom had his most memorable monster putt on 15 to best Jack.
Pete did play well in ‘04 and it was a shining moment for him and for all of us here.
No, sir…no Pete Oakley’s here. But good guess. Is he still at The Rookery? Ya know as many times as I have driven by it, I’ve never teed it up there? Sad, really. Gonna have to change that this spring.
As far as Wilmington goes, so much is made of the longer south course, but many that I know prefer the shorter, tighter and quirkier north. Once sliced so bad that the shot hit the water tower and ricocheted back into the fairway. I planned that, ya know. Worked on it all spring… Like Baywood a lot but need xanax afterward…lol
Pretty flowers, though.
Maybe we’ll run into each other sometime, bro.
February 20th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
someone was talking about you guys at my table last night, i think someone knows who you are
February 20th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
You were a hippie then a philosopher then a yuppie than an entrepreneur then an alcoholic then a world traveler then a divorcee then a stoner then a swinger. Take THAT to the bank.
-JT, from your backyard (I see you blogging thru the window)
February 20th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
You’ve just described anyone born anywhere in the 50’s or 60’s.
February 21st, 2010 at 8:25 am
I gave it a shot
-JT
February 21st, 2010 at 10:26 am
Now that might get ya the Cohiba.
Actually a interesting social commentary. I really does hit the mark with so many of that generation.
Hippie…quasi Philosopher…always Yuppie…never Entrepreneur…aren’t we all at heart Alcoholic…not yet, but workin’ on it World traveler…not all corners but def been around a lil. Divorced…gotta keep something cryptic Stoner…nah; the hydro makes me stupid; like that’s hard…lol; Like Booker’s. Jack and good Vino…oh and cold PBR’s
And the Swinger?…now THAT is incendiary. You’ll need to talk to the love of my life…lol I’m under a gag order, yo
February 21st, 2010 at 3:13 pm
I’ll pick that Cohiba up anywhere, just let me know the address or mailbox or the codeword for the guy behind the counter.
February 21st, 2010 at 5:01 pm
The Lewinsky cigar was a Cohiba, that’s from the inside (no pun int)
February 21st, 2010 at 5:12 pm
An Esplendido, I believe.
The Cohiba wore black, yellow and white…she wore blue.