If you were at Costco, Happy Harry’s, Wal-mart, or Rite Aid yesterday perusing the isles for any type of remedy for an upset stomach, you were probably taken aback by the empty shelving in front of you that once displayed a plenitude of indigestion products:  Pepto, Alka Seltzer, Milk of Magnesia, and Rollaids, er Rolaids.  WTF!…you might have said. “Who the hell would buy up all of these “getridoftheknotinyourgut” remedies?

Now had you’d been a lil earlier you might’ve caught a glimpse at some pretenders using what little war chest they had in attempts to settle down their tummy’s after learning that Mama and her black card had entered the race only to be followed by the news that Papa U had reached into his own back pocket and pulled out 500 G’s of his own loot.  Half a mil, baby… HALF A MIL. All in for Papa.  Rose Izzo in contrast has enough in her faux Louis V – $122.00 – for an evening at Toscana (with tip, of course).  Rose is not even close to being alone in her angst.   With most pretender campaigns running on Valero type fumes, and when faced with the fact that it will take in excess of 5 MILLION DOLLARS ( yes, Rose, Kevin, Scott, Brent…you heard right) to play at this table, one has to wander just what the hell they were thinking in the first place.   I mean, Rose can’t afford the cab fare for a trip from the Brooklyn Bridge to the Chelsea Pier off the West Side Hwy and back.   Seriously.  Can you spell delusions?

Now I just know we are gonna hear all about the haves and have not’s in the next few days, and how it shouldn’t ever be about the money; and we agree.  However, the facts are the facts, and money talks and it says that “those who cant raise it, walk… out of the picture.” This reality is no different from that of partisanship, hate, intolerance for the others views, fear mongering, and stretching any truth – or out right lying – to stroke a clueless public and keep one’s fanny in office.  It is what it is and part of the current landscape… so don’t complain as you all were witting accomplices in this ongoing drama.

But allow me to digress back to Mama and Papa.  We have to give Pops props here.  Half a mil is a hefty bet and he’s got the stones to place it on the table and watch the dealer whisk it right into the cash slot.  Gone!  You’re in now, Old man… up to your eye balls. His new best friends from MH Media must have convinced him he needed to tap his ATM as to not only show serious commitment – and the fact that he will gamble his own  - but to fire the first shot over the bow of Mama Rollins; who could catch that cannon shell with her hand and throw it back, yo.   Now securing that kind of cash included some liquidity scenarios for Pops… but who needs a retirement fund when you ain’t gonna retire anyway.  And the college fund for the grandkids?   That’s soooo far off… and hell, they may not even wanna go to college… right?  And the second Mortgage -should he go down in flames – might put him and the clan in a double wide (or upgrade to a mack daddy Sand Piper)  for awhile, but he ain’t bettin’ more than he can afford to lose.  But he is betting a lot.

And so is Mama Rollins.  She hopped in knowing precisely what the personal – and national – tab would be.   And let us not forget one Mr. John Carney who was sittin’ on half a mil himself… or close to it (has a few bucks left, we’re sure, but he is hitting up everyone he ever knew for donations.  He doesn’t possess the personal billfold to compete with Mama or evidently Papa, but he will tap the national MAC for some bread once he gets past Spencer.  But he cant match Rollins whatsoever in a general.  So he will pray for the upset.

And to all the wannabe’s?   Save what money you do have and take the fam out to the Charcoal Pit for a Pit Specials w/cheese.  You may have enough left over to go across the street to Rita’s afterwards.  And that Kitchen Sink on the menu wasn’t of the Jack and Jill variety; it was a stainless Kohler that just got thrown at your collective title hopes.

So here we go sports fans.   This Congressional primary just got a $500,000 injection of steroids.  Either Papa knows something or he just made a sucker’s bet.  It’s gonna be interesting.  And let’s not forget the filing deadline on Thursday.  She who else wants to go to Rita’s… lol.

Hey, Spencer.  You’re up this week… do hope you have more than $122.00 you can tap into.  Yes you have more political upside than most, but you gotta get a seat at the table.  We’ll see ya shortly.

A final note:  With all this talk of serious money, is it any wonder Miss Tetley was reportedly out sellin’ the NJ at the head of the ramp comin’ off 95.  The “help the homeless candidate… will run for food”  is about all the ad exposure she could hope for at this stage of the game.  What a train wreck.

Welcome to the Delaware beaches.  The nations vacation spot.  Fun in the sun.  Dolles and Grottos.   On lazy summer nights the sunburned mass of humanity cruises the boards in Coca Cola style lapping up their quickly melting mountain of Kohr’s frozen custard or with napkin in hand, inhaling entire “Nic-o-bolis”  with mouths opening just short of dislocation.  And on chance that the dolphins dance, there is a spectacle of fins and flapping kites much to the children’s delight.

Further up – or down – the coast the surf fisherman angle their Garcia’s and Penn’s in hope’s of landing a record “Blackfish”.   Whoa!  What, you may ask is a “Blackfish”?  You mean Bluefish, don’t ya?  Ain’t never heard of no Blackfish.

Well, the entire eastern seaboard may soon be one Capt. Hazelwood perfect storm away from painting the whole beach with one long black oily stroke.  Black Gulls and sandpiper’s and bathers no longer in need to oil up with Coppertone.  At least the colour is slimming… or is it sliming?

And what could cause such a Cimmerian scenario?  A hint: take a Black and Decker drill, put it on anabolic steroids and place it on a platform miles off the coast and away from the consciousness of the Suburban driving public.   Sarah Palin (remember her…lol) was crucified for uttering the words “Drill Baby Drill” during her ill fated campaign run.  We as a country were driving past our need for a pic line of foreign oil, weren’t we?  F$$$ the middle east crude pushers, we were goin green… weren’t we?    Hybrids, Solar roofs, Ethanol tax credits, Hydro and Wind.  Hell, we’re even recyclin’.

Seems we had another 180 in Washington as it applies to offshore drilling and now the left – at least on this issue – resembles more the right.  After battling tooth and nail Bush 43’s offshore petro agenda just two short years ago, The O’Biden’s have floated out their own derricks claiming they provide a more balanced ballast.  In Poli-speak; yes, we changed our minds, now support the drill; but it is better and safer and more “balanced” than W’s.  Uh huh.  Says you.  Come on guys, give us a Barack…er, I mean… break.

Against the irate and irascible opposition by those soon to be drilled coastal legislators, the White House is now proposing drilling for more than just oil.  They are drilling to see if they strike any strong and viable support for placing some really big albatrosses a mere 3 miles (is that nautical?… like it matters) off the coastlines of Florida, Georgia, SC, NC, VA, Maryland, Bethany, Jersey, Conn, RI, New Hampshire and Kennebunkport.   But hey, it’s something we need to do to help “reduce our dependence on foreign oil”.  Where have we heard that before?  Our own Sen. Ted Kaufman has broken with party oilers Biden and Carper to blast the proposal citing spill risks that affects could reek havoc to both the environment and tourism should the unexpected come calling.   He don’t believe these reserves are sufficient to stem any tide… just make the tide blacker.  He ain’t alone.  It also awoke a slumbering John Carney today and has him calling out the White House a lil… and we mean a lil.  He left some “we need to “reduce our dependence blah blah blah” wiggle room. But the O’Biden’s now got a civil skirmish brewin’ on Silver Lake.

God forbid we have those wind driven eyesores within a binoculars reach of Dewey.  But give me one of them Gulf of Mexico behemoths (that they evacuated during Katrina).  Now that is a postcard.  Especially if ya like your burger with some Thrasher’s and a lil pint of Havoline.

So we have another in the series of hot buttons rainin’ down on the mid-term boyz; favourites and pretenders alike.  This, like health care is a big one.  We’d like to hear from those who’s political engines are revvin’ up on the tarmac waitin’ for their Delaware to DC commuter flight to depart.  We would love to hear from King Mike, Mama Rollins (when she graces us all with her already made up mind) and Chris Coons; in addition to Urquhart, Cullis, Wade, Izzo (she carries a craftsman w multiple bits), Wangen, and Campbell, give us all the pleasure of knowing precisely where they come down on the issue.  We’d ask Miss Tetley, but we know she’s plannin’ on homesteadin’ on one of them bad boys… at least till the FEC leaves town.   And we know where Scott Spencer stands: out on the boat harassing the platforms construction efforts, looking every bit like Ahab, replete with fuel injected harpoons.  No, we can tell you all where Scott stands and you won’t need an ear to the ground to hear him.   At least he will tell you exactly where he stands… an it ain’t gonna be on the drilling platform.

Speak up candidates.  This is, as Joe likes to say; A BIG F’N DEAL.  The voters got their ears to the ground too.

It’s that time of year, folks.  The signs are all popping up.  Brackets…lots of brackets. Office pools, trips to the Mandalay Sports Book in Vegas, and 2 days of total immersion into ESPN and CBS Sports as to follow every 5-12 upset and budding Cinderella Story.  We are talking about the NCAA Basketball tournament aka MARCH MADNESS.  An event that transcends the sport and acts as a vortex in drawing – for two days anyway – millions of business Americans into its feverous climate.

It also produces 2 days that wont go down as contributing a F’n thing to the GNP as no one…I mean no one has as his or her mission on Thursday and Friday anything other than to log into ESPN, CBS SPORTS; hooking up their Blackberry’s, iPhones , and HTC’s to witness firsthand their hoops prognosticating prowess taking shape.  It is madness.  It is awesome.  It also has prompted many a business to shut off access to company computers in attempt to siphon a dollop of productivity from their employees.  It also produces a number of upsets that confound the pundits and ruin the brackets of even the most knowledgeable fan.

Now we thought that in the spirit of the tournament we would offer our own Delaware political version of March Madness replete with the bracketing, match-ups and the chance to pick some upsets.  There of course doesn’t exist 64 candidates or even a Sweet Sixteen (but give the repubs time and they might get there)  But we do have the what be believe to be fair seedings and pairings.  So have a look pour a beer and pick ‘em.

SENATE

It’s a short field in the Senate with prohibitive favourite Mike Castle the Class of the field.    The early round game with Miss Tetley will be like Kansas playing West Chester; no upset here.  Coons may have the other bracket to himself but there are rumblings that another soul may suit up.  So we’ll call this one for Coons setting up A Villanova – Georgetown 1985 scenario whereas a perfect game would be needed by Coons to upset the King… and we all know how that game turned out.

Seeds

1. Mike (The King) Castle
2. Chris (The ax man) Coons
3. Christine (I’m a real candidate) O’Donnell
4. Guess who?

Castle vs O’Donnell - An unlikely upset scenario.  Tetley’s got prettier Uniforms and looks the cheerleader herself.  The king’s got better scouts and executes to a tea.  He also has Cougars in the band.

Coons vs Guess Who – The mystery Candidate may remain a mystery… may not.  But Coons plays all 94’.

HOUSE

The repubs have made this an interesting bracket due to the number of players and the presence of the female Bobby Knight lurking in the locker room.

SEEDS

1. MICHELE ROLLINS
2. GLEN URQUHART
3. FRED CULLIS
4. KEVIN WADE
5. BRENT WANGEN
6. DOUG CAMPBELL
7. ROSE IZZO

Wade vs Izzo – the winner gets the right to face The Grande Dame in Round two

Urquhart  vs  Campbell – the Old man Conservative against the Constitution.  The Constitution was potent at one time  but in the shredder recently.  Plus Glenn has the storied past and a tougher schedule.

Cullis vs Wangen – Similar styles here but the nod goes to the rifleman

On the Dems bracket there is but one game on tap.

Carney vs Spencer  – this is a match-up that is reminiscent of any team who has ever faced a Petey Carril coached Princeton team in the first round.  The talent wasn’t always equal; but the pace, coaching, and intelligent deliberate style made the Tiger’s a tough out.  Spencer = UCLA?   Interesting possibility.

So we begin the Delaware March to Madness.

America as a nation was founded on individual freedoms.  The constitution (as it used to be interpreted) was penned by those who would – and did – die to preserve our solitary compass.  The protection of our existence and its essence and a free life’s promise, sacrosanct; a personal and collective covenant.

I would believe most Americans subscribe to such a creed on its merit and embrace it as their own; for which it was intended.

Then why is it that a political party that espouses as their basic platform these very principles, finds itself relegated to fringe status?  Whacky, if you will.  On the outside looking in.  Never quite being invited to join in the party…pun intended.  Simply answered; we are, have been, and will always be a two party system…case closed.  No room at the inn for those who don’t fit neatly into the Big 2.  It ain’t right. It is parochial. It is exclusionary.  But it is fact.

Welcome to the world of the Libertarian.

Oh, sure, we give the passing patronizing nod to those brave enough to brave the storm, but our collective political persona allows not the path of the dissident – even though it was the dissident that told King George to shove it ergo creating the spark that became our flame.

Why, you may ask am I going on like this?  What is the callers point?  And What in the hell does this have to do with Brent Wangen and his status as a pretender?

The answers to those queries reside in the fact that he as a Libertarian dwells in virtual political and popular obscurity; a vacuum; no one knows him or will know him, hence he has no shot at raising the necessary financing or securing the vote of anyone other than his family, friends, and some really intense abettors.  You want a dark horse?  Well Brent’s candidacy rides the pale horse and there ain’t no hitching posts for the pale horse and no vacancy above the Saloon for the pale rider.

Brent claims on his meager web site that he is not a politician…get out…really?  You could’ve fooled us, kid.  But then again he harbours no illusions to the contrary.  He is who he is: a nice guy who doesn’t like the government telling him what to do and how to live his life.  Sounds an awful lot like a lot of people we all know…that is until they catch a sniff of power and their entire persona falls just short of  arrogance with a side of dictatorial intolerance for anyone who has the temerity to challenge them or hold them accountable.  It is why we always hear the grumblings from the proletariat as they behind closed doors cry for a third party.  Ya know, tired of choosing between the lesser of two evils…blah blah blah.

Well, there is a third party – and a couple of fourth’s – but until it can escape the shadow of its own Cimmerian cloud, the best they can hope for is some credibility.

Hey, it’s a start.  Brent Wangen the candidate in all probability won’t get out of the gate; and if he does won’t see the finish line.  But we hope he does what we all believe Americans should do.  Stand up for what you think is right and if someone don’t like it they can go #$%& themselves.  This is why we focused a lil more on the party than the candidate in this case.  Because it was necessary.  Everyone should have a shot.  And not one in the dark.

That’s the way we see it.  We only wish the Dems and the Pubs would remember the Constitution from time to time.  It was written for y’all too.

Most of us remember the name of one of the most influential bands from the 70’s and their razor edged female lead, Chrissie Hynde.  The Pretenders were high octane and remain in spirit as relevant and revered as they were in their heyday.

This description hardy applies to our current crop of Congressional pretenders as they remain virtually anonymous and at times no more than a blip on the political radar.  While these figures are rife with ambition and good intentions, they can only dream at the moment of becoming what Chrissie referred to in one of the Pretenders earlier hits, “Talk of the Town”.  There would, or could be such talk if in fact any was being generated by any measurable buzz emanating from the respectful camps of Rose Izzo, Fred Cullis, Scott Spencer, Kevin Wade, Brent Wangen, and Doug Campbell.  To date only Fred Cullis (loaning himself the 5g’s to get in), and Kevin Wade with his 3 county declaration jaunt have even announced officially that they in fact are running.

The rest have seemed to be dabbling in the waters of a race with the obligatory Campaign photos – replete with stars, stripes and stock tag lines… nothing terribly creative – serviceable web sites, will anyone ever get a professional – I mean a real one – to orchestrate a serious web presence? – and some loyal followers giving it the old college try in efforts to hit the blogs in defense of their man/woman.  This is all well and good, but they (or most) are in essence giving us the non – run run.  They say they are running; have the campaign buttons on order (when they can afford to pick them up) and are by all accounts off and running… well, kinda

Hey, guys… if your genuinely serious then hop in with both feet.  That’s not too much to ask… is it?  Take out a loan or something.

So we will take a take a look at the extras on all these babies over the next week to better shed some light into the list of hopefuls.  We will provide each candidate our version of the “15 minutes”…DE2010 style over the next few weeks.  We feel that anyone who gives public office (especially the House of Representatives) a shot – even should there exist no logical shot at the job – deserves to be featured …at least a lil.   And if any should fall off the map in the meantime? …then it just wasn’t meant to be, now was it?

Since it is apparent the respective candidates are operating in somewhat of a vacuum, and what little the public – or anyone else – knows can be picked up on their site (unless you are already a strong supporter who has sat in a “Back Room” with one or more of this cast), we will present them to you in our own way.

Hey, we’ll be fair and balanced.  Now where the hell have we heard that before, eh?

AND IN THE ON DECK CIRCLE AND BATTING FIRST… ROSE IZZO.  See ya tomorrow, Rose.

A final note:  We will in addition over this time maintain our focus on the Big Ticket Names as those with punch, money, and excess of DRF, position themselves for the run at the roses.  Perhaps we may even be graced with an announcement or two from the Brooks Brothers.  We would love to feature y’all, that is when you guys actually become  candidates.  The fence must be a mighty cold place to be this time of year …lol.